I'm not giving up on you
by Belofherdreams
Summary: AU Emma Swan – a famous writer in lack of inspiration – dreams to end her life until she unexpectedly meets the character of her book series, Captain Hook.
1. You need help !

**Hi everybody ! This is my first fanfiction ! This is a rewriting from a french novel 'La fille de papier' by Guillaume Musso with OUAT version and specially with Captain Swan couple. I take some liberties from the show but don't worry ;) I hope you'll love it. By the way, English is not my native language ! (I'm French) Don't hesitate to notify me the mistakes I did throughout the story. I'll be so glad ! :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 : You need help !<strong>

'Emma, open the door !' there's a knock at the door of my appartment in Boston. 'I know you're here !'

There is no response. Only the sound of the silence.

'Please Emma ! Open the door ! You can't run away from me forever !' the feminine voice says furiously.

'Open the door or I'll smash it ! You know I can do this !'

For all that, I don't awser to the knocks from my best friend. I don't want to. It's been a while since I don't answer to the telephone calls or get out from my appartment. I prefer to stay in my prison instead of confronting a new life without _him_.

'That's too bad for you !' she finally threatens me behind my door. To my mind, she uses the wire for opening the door as I taught her once in another life.

Two minutes later, the door opens violently showing my best friend Tina with an angry and disgusted face. I'm not really surprised by her expression. In fact, my home is full of scraps from medicine, foods, clothes mixed with the smell of musty and mold. Tina looks around the mess I did for finding me, uneasy.

After checking some rooms, she finally finds me in my bedroom. I'm sleeping in an ocean of medicines and used Kleenex.

'Oh my god !' Tina whispers panickly. 'Emma ! Wake up ! Emma !'

She shakes me slowly and I escape a weak grumble from my dry lips.

'Walsh, Is that you ?'

'Emma !' Tina insists. 'Emma, it's Tina ! Wake up ! Please !'

I open my eyes and try to sit on the edge of my bed with many difficulties. When I see Tina's face, my hopes are gone. Sadness reigns in my broken heart because this person facing me is not the man I love. I breath a sigh of desperation.

'It's you, Tina. What are you doing here ? Walsh is not here ?'

Tina shakes her head sadly touching my wet face. She answer with a sweet voice.

'It's been six month Emma. I'm terribly worried about you. You don't answer to my calls. And I need to see you and especially to help you. You need help, Emma !'

Her voice increases when she is talking and at the same time, she's crying. I can understand her. It's been six month I didn't see her or actually since Walsh had broke up with me for another woman. And for six months, I was wandering in my appartment without seeing friends, facing to the media and finishing my third book of my best-seller _Once Upon A Time. _And instead of starting a new life without Walsh, I've decided to stay at home with the obsession of planning my own death.

Yes ! I want to die ! But no one knows what I prepare soon and I really want to succeed on my own.

'I don't need your help Tina !' I declare dryly. 'Let me alone, please ! '

But Tina refuses to let me drown in my creepy thoughs.

'No Emma, I don't give up on you ! You need my help and Ruby's. Please get out of the bed, take a shower and get dress ! You need a push !'

'I don't feel well.'

'I don't care Emma ! You're stayed in bed for six months and it's time to come with me ! We are going at Ruby's for lunch.'

Her voice insistes. I know her by heart, she won't giving up. She is a determined woman. Tina helps me to get out of my bed, leads me to the bathroom forcing me to wash my hair and my body and at last, dress me for the lunch.

One hour later, Tina is looking for me in the bathroom and checking my apparence. I don't take aware of my apparence since a long moment. When I look at the mirror, I stare at a twenty-eight years woman with wavy blond hair tied in a pony-tail with beautiful green eyes. She was dressed with a simple jean and a shirt. That's all. The Emma Swan I knew was gone with Walsh. I don't recognise the Emma Swan in front of me. She is totally a stranger according to me. No a popular writer, no a famous woman with the beauty and the grace of a _swan_. I face to an ordinary woman.

'So' Tina says with a kind smile 'Are you ready ?'

I shrug without enthusiasm. She squeezes my shoulder trying to comfort me.

'Come with me ! It will be a lovely day !' Tina declares to my reflection.

She starts to leave the appartment, her hand holding mine and I reluctantly follow her.

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><p>After crossing Boston in Tina's car with the music of the last Disney movie in the background, we arrive to Ruby's house.<p>

It's been a while since I don't coming back to pay a visit to my dearest friend. I should be glad for seeing her. But I can't. I have a black hole in my heart as if I'll never be happy until the last day of my life.

Tina holds my right arm and she leads me to the entrance. She rings the bell and a few seconds later, I see Ruby's face welcoming us and asking me how I am.

For sum up, I know Ruby for ten years. I met her when I was looking for a job in her grandmother's bed and breakfast. We immediately became friends. I worked as a waitress with her until she get a job at the police of Boston. And then she was the number one fan of my books series _Once Upon A Time_, she was the first person I told the whole story.

As for Tina, she is my agent for the publishing book of my series. We met at Granny's too, she worked with Ruby before I get the job. The first time I told my book series she was fascinated and she advices me to show scratch paper of my first book of _Once Upon A Time_ to an editor without hesitation.

Ruby get us inside her home and she show us the sofa face to a table with some aperitif.

'I glad you're coming Emma' Ruby says with joy.

She enlaces me. I let her do it, she was terribly worried about my spirits. After that, I give her a shy smile. I'm not ready yet to talk.

'I have trouble doing get her from her bed. But I did it.' Tina says proudly. 'Now we can enjoy our lunch !'

'Thank you Tina for bringing her.' Ruby smiles gratefully. 'Now we should have a drink, do you want some water Emma?'

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><p>After having a drink before lunch, we start to eating the pizzas prepared by Ruby. Usually, I really enjoyed eating pizza but today I just eat a piece of pizza.<p>

'Emma, take another piece of pizza !' Tina offers me but I decline.

'Thank you but I not really hungry.' I say quietly.

'But you love my pizzas, Emma' Ruby remind me with an uneasy voice.

'I know Ruby but I not really hungry. I just want to go home.'

'And starting again crying again for a jerk like Walsh' Ruby declares bitterly. 'Emma, you need to move on ! For instance, finish your third book !'

'I don't want to finish my book !' I scream at her. 'I tried many times but I'm on lack of inspiration ! I can't do this anymore'.

'Try again Emma !' Tina relies at me. 'You have to finish this book.'

'Tina, I can't !' I repeat, frowning. 'I – '

'Emma. I got a call from Bookland. They explained me about an impression problem from your last book. '

'What kind of problem?'

'They lauched the printing in haste to deal with demands. But something went wrong. They'll destroy them but the trouble is some books are already been delivered to the bookshops. They'll write a mail for take them back.'

She takes something from her bag and gives it to me. I open and flip through the book and saw the problem, only two hundred and sixty six pages are impressed and the other half, blank. The story finishes abruptly with this :

_Whereas the cave became darker, Regina and Hook reach the place where Maleficent – in her dragon form – was imprisoned. _

_'Where are we ?' Hook asked with mistrust._

_'You will see.' Regina smiles devilishily._

_And suddenly the Evil Queen push the one-handed pirate to the empty and dark space. _

_Hook falls _

And that's all. Not even a period. The book finishes with _Hook falls_.

'So' Tina says. 'When are you finished your book ?'

'I –' I try to answer. 'I don't know. I think I can't finish it'.

'Don't say that !' Ruby tells me.

'But I can't finish it. Writing is over for me ! I have enough of writing all this _bullshit_ !'

'Emma' Tina tries to talk to me, gape at my words.

'NO TINA ! I'm tired of writing these dreams which are not true ! The prince charming, true love, a family who love you, magic, fairytales and happy endings don't exists ! I have to face to the reality.'

'Emma' Ruby starts to cry.

'NO RUBY ! It's over ! I'll never writing the end ! I'm sorry but I need to go'.

I start to leaving but Tina tries to catch me.

'Just because you have been abandoned by your parents, lost Neal, sent to jail, give up your baby boy for a better chance or been rejected by Walsh doesn't change anything for your perception.'

'Stop it, Tina !'

'You know I'm right. You can't deny it'.

I don't listen her anymore. I smash the door, the unfinished book in my hand and I walk, crying.

As I walk to the street, the weather becomes darker. I feel some drops of water on my tired face. It's started to rain. Then a loud scream appears suddenly from the dark sky. The storm is coming and I have to come back to my appartment and then succumb to oblivion.

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><p>I'm finally back to my appartment, relieved. I feel better. It was a bad idea to get me out. I can't go on and live my life as if my relationship with Walsh has never existed. Suddenly I cry. Thinking of Walsh hurts me particurlarly when he is happy and in love with somebody else. I terribly miss his voice, his face, his eyes, his touching and above all his entire love for me.<p>

After drying my tears, I stare at my unfinished book I'm holding in my left hand. I flip through it until I find the page where the story breaks off unexpectedly at this paragraph, page 266 :

_Whereas the cave became darker, Regina and Hook reach the place where Maleficent – in her dragon form – was imprisoned. _

_'Where are we ?' Hook asked with mistrust._

_'You will see.' Regina smiles devilishily._

_And suddenly the Evil Queen push the one-handed pirate to the empty and dark space. _

_Hook falls _

The next two-hundred pages are blanked. The adventure is over. For the Savior, for Snow-White and Prince Charming, for Henry, even for the Evil Queen and for the fearsome pirate Hook. It's all over, even for me the writer.

'There is no happy endings at least' I adress sadly to the book. 'Happy endings don't exists.'

Then, as if I'm holding a parasite I throw furiously the book away from me. I had enough for believing of all this nonsenses. Writing is over for me. No more writing. No anymore.

I get up and I go up to my bathroom for taking some medicines and sleeping pills. I sit to the edge of my bed after finding what I need and with a glass of water I take from the bathroom, I swallow the pills and drink the water. Then, I collapse into my bed.

While I succumbed to sleep, my pain disappear as if it was a bad memory. As if the next day, Walsh will be back to me in my bed except he will never come back, I know it. Then, I drift in my thoughts. My body and my conscience start to desintegrate, my life left me and everything was gone.

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><p>Suddenly, an explosion. Then, a man's scream. Someone is crying for help.<p>

I jumped off my bed. After opening my eyes, the first thing I do is watching for the hour : 3.15 a.m.

I think for a second I did a horrible nightmare but the sound of the rain in my living room proves me the contrary.

'Dammit !' I swear.

I walk hastily to the living room and when I arrive I have a big shock. In fact, a shadow faces to me. Frightened, I take the first thing in my hand – a vase with fading flowers – and throw it to the shadow hurting in his head. Yet, it's still moving. I am about to do knock him unconscious when a shout escape from it.

'Stop ! I won't hurting you'

It was a masculine voice, a sultry and bewitched voice with an english accent. At present he's standing face to me, his two hands up. Well, his right hand up. I specialy gape at his left hand or the thing which represent his other limb – thanks to the flash of lightening – a glimmering hook.

'What the … ' I start to say panickly but he interrups me with an anxious face.

'Where I am ? And who the _bloody hell_ are you ?'

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><p><strong>Review ? :) See you soon !<strong>


	2. I'm real

**Hey Captain Swan shippers ! I'm back with a new chapter ! Ready to meet Captain Hook ? By the way thank you for fav/follow my story ! I did some modification for Hook's identity. You'll understand later why I did this. I hope you'll love this chapter ! See you x **

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><p>''Where I am ? And who the <em>bloody hell<em> are you ?''

The first think I am wondering at this moment is am I dreaming ? Am I dead ? Am I becoming completely insane ? Yet, a man is standing in my living room in the middle of the night. Is he a bugglar ? Or my murderer ? That's very very strange and creepy. Behind him, the window from the living room's balcony was broken. Besides, the storm continues to scream. A cold wind blows in the living room. I should running and calling the cops right now, but I don't move. I stay motionless, my heart beating furiously as if I'll die soon.

''I was with this bloody queen a moment ago'' The man continues ''and now I'm suddenly in this strange place ! And – ''

He suddenly stops when I turn on the light. I finally can see how he looks like. I gape at him, I don't know what to say because I didn't expected to see a tall and good-looking dishevelled black hair man with a designer stubble and with the most bluest eyes I've never seen face to me. The most striking thing is the fact that he dressed like a pirate from the eighteenth century. And moreover with a hook !

And he looks so surprised as me. He stares at me, frowning and then grinning as if he recognises me.

''Wait ! Are you Emma Swan ? '' He enquires.

''I return to you the question.'' I threaten him furiously, staring at him with no desire to laugh at his stupid joke. 'Who are you and what are you doing here?'

When he's started to get close to me, I move back. He notices that I am really afraid, so he stops moving and then he sighs.

''I though you'll recognise me, _lass_''

He have declared with a seductive and reassuring tone but I'm not naive and fool.

''I'm sorry I don't recognise you sir, I never see you.''

He escapes a little mocking laugh but I refuse to play that sort of game with him. He's maybe a crazy man, or a pervert, or both. That scares me.

''That's enough sir ! What are you doing _here_ !'' I say crossly at him. ''And _**who**_ _**are**_ _**you**_ ? ''

''It's me : Jamie !'' he says as if it is obvious.

I roll my eyes. I don't know a man named James except from my best-seller _Once Upon A Time_.

''I'm sorry but I don't know someone named Jamie.'' I tell him bitterly.

He sighs and he tries again.

''I'm Jamie Hookbridge. But most people have taken to calling me by my more colorful moniker.' He waits a second and then. _Hook_.''

''As in Captain Hook ?'' I notice.

He nods, smiling cheerfully.

''The one from my book.'' I say to him.

''Indeed.''

I am completely astonished. That's impossible. Is he insane ! Is he a fan with a psychologic problem !? I try to reason him, keeping my calm. I have to bring him back to Earth.

''Jamie Hookbridge, also know as Captain Hook is a character from my book series.'' I explain to him with much serious. ''He doesn't exist. He is a fictionnal character. ''

''Sadly I'm agree with you, _love_. ''

Same _words_, same _physical_ _apparence_, same _personnality_. But –

''We are on reality. A world without magic.''

''That's seems clear to me.'' He admits.

So, he is agree that we are on the real world. But he doesn't admit he's not Captain Hook, that this person is not real. I feel really disoriented by the identity of this _man_. I must to remind him that he is an ordinary human being, not a fearsome and dangerous – and attractive – pirate.

''So if you pretend to be a book character, you shouldn't be here.'' I say to him.

''Nevertheless I'm here, _lass_. In your _world. _'' He retorts to me showing his entire being with his hook – is it a fake by the way ?

''But you're not real.'' I try to convice myself, bliking and shaking my head.

''I assure you I'm _real.''_

Yet, he doesn't seem threatening me and frightening me either. He looks quiet and uneasy by my reaction. But I don't trust him. I don't know him. I am therefore on my guard. I come closer to the nearest furniture from where I am and take the gun from the drawer. When he sees my gun, he contents to rolling his eyes and then sighing.

''Please, I know you're afraid.'' He tells me. ''I won't hurt you _love.'' _

''Call me _love_ again or I'll calling the cops !'' I threaten him with much aggressiveness. ''I want you to be honest with me. So, can you explain me how are you arrived _here _?''

''I fall.'' He simply says.

''Fall from _where_ ?''

''From your book. Well from your story.''

I stare at him trying to read him if he is telling me lies. But nothing in my eyes says that he is. No lie detector activated in my eyes. So, he is saying the truth. But – how he could be real !?

I'm delirious. Or actually, I am sleeping at the moment and I'm dreaming about this nonsense ! That's all in my head.

''That's impossible. I know when someone is lying.'' I object him.

He nods. At least, _Hook_ is aware of my feelings.

''I was falling from a line.'' He explains to me. ''In the middle of a setence.'' He looks around him until he sees the book on the floor - among the pieces of glass - that I have threw hours ago. He picks it up, he flips through the book, then he approaches me – while I still have my gun pointed at him – and shows me the paragraph where the book finishes abrutly.

_And suddenly the Evil Queen push the one-handed pirate to the empty and dark space. _

_Hook falls_

''You see, it's said: _Hook falls_. And then, I landed to your place.''

I'm increasingly dazed. That's impossible. I don't drink alcohol at Ruby's today. I just toke sleeping pills, not drugs ! How can he makes up all this absurdity ? In spite all this, I drop my weapon. I can't believe him even if he doesn't lie.

''You are a crazy person, or a liar or both.'' I declare, staring at him.

''I prefer dashing rapscallion.'' He simply retorts.

I finally look away and I'm turning to the telephone.

''Okay. I call the cops and after that I can go back to sleep.''

''_Swan_, please !'' He begs. ''I know this is crazy but you have to believe me !''

''_Enough_ ! I don't want to hear you anymore !''

When I found the telephone, I compose the police number. And suddenly before they can answer it, I fall on the floor and the last thing I saw is the man – pretending to be Captain Hook – who takes me to his arms with gentleness.

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><p><em>''Emma.''<em>

A gentle and sweet masculine voice whispers to my ear.

_''Emma, wake up.''_

The voice says again.

_''Wake up, sweetheart.''_

I'd recognise this _voice_ anywhere even in my dreams.

_''I have a surprise for you, my love.''_

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><p>''Walsh, is that you ?'' I say sleepily. ''You're back.''<p>

''I'm here.'' The hallucination replies with so much worry.

I start to open my eyes for seeing a blurred face. I have some difficulties to wake up from a deadly sleeping as if I was under the sleeping curse. I blink my eyes many times until the image reveals the ugly truth. The man who looks at me and who breathes a sigh of relief isn't Walsh. It is the madman who thought he is a fictionnal character. And he's near to me !

''**YOU** !'' I jump out of my bed, trying to escaping from this deranged person. ''_What are you doing in my bedroom ! ''_

''Good morning you, too !'' He says without moving from my bed and looking at me all the time. ''I was worring about you, love.''

Because of this _pirate_, I feel very uncomfortable as if my privacy was exposed to the entire world. I'm scared. Terribly scared. I don't know what to do. He needs to see a psychologist ! I want him to stop this unpleasant joke. But in the end, I yield. I take him brutally by his left arm and lead him to the exit of my appartment.

''Go away !''

''I can explain !'' He struggles.

''You are a _stalker_ !''

''You're afraid of what it's going on right now. I can understand that. First, you're seeing a devilshly handsome man emerged suddenly on your place in the middle of the night. Second, he's says that he is a book character falling from your story and futhermore, you face to a pirate ! To be honest with you, I'm scared _too_ ! Scared of what's going on. To be in the real world. You're afraid to being wrong about me.''

I stop moving.

''I'm really Hook, _your_ Hook.'' He goes on. ''And I really need your help ! Because you're the only one who knows everything about me.''

When he's talking, I released him little by little. After that, I look on his eyes which are so blue and so shinning as the ocean. And then, something happens between us. So suddenly. As if a real connection is creating. And I know that he understands me. But I can't trust him.

''How do you know ?'' I ask him when I calm down.

''You're quiet an open book.'' He reply with no doubt.

We remain silent for a while.

''I want to believe you but I need evidences.''

''You want evidences, love ?''

I nod to him.

''So'' He starts to move to the kitchen until he faces to a large wooden table and then, he traces something on it with his hook.

To my great surprise, I don't make a motion to tell him to stop. Instead of that, I gape at his hook because it is a real one ! A real weapon on _him_ !

''Look.'' he gestures me to the traces. I walk to the table and I see numbers :

_**2.40**_

I blink at it, trying to understand its meaning. Hook - I don't know how to call him - sees my disoriented expression.

''Book 2, page 40.'' He explains me.

I understand what he's meaning. He is talking about my books. I run and check my shelf from the living room, looking for the book two of _Once Upon A Time_ and then I found it and take it.

I'm back to the kitchen looking for the pages in question. So, I reach to page 40 when it tells :

_Days have passed since he lost Milah. His lover. The woman he truly fell in love. The only one his heart beat for her. Until her heart was ripped out and crashed in front of him. He had failed. And at the same time, he lost a part of himself. His left hand. It was as if he was destroyed, but not dead yet. But more dangerous and more dreadful than before. And from now, he had to continue to live without her. For his love and for his revenge. He had to continue to live for killing the Dark One. And since that day as the glimmering and dangerous hook had replaced his left hand and toke part to his entire being, he swore he will kill Rumplestiltskin as this demon lives._

''See ?'' Hook asks me about the paragraph.

''Yeah.'' I say. ''So the hook, it's a real one?''

As a response, he takes off his huge black leather jacket, raises his left sleeve, take off his hook and its components and I finally see his stump from his left limb.

''See ?''

I nod, still can't believe of what I see with my own eyes.

''You should read the next paragraph.'' He advices me.

I read the other paragraph.

_To keep his promise to his late lover, he had made a tattoo with Milah's name on his right wrist which its shows a dagger going through a heart. _

''You try to tell me you had a tattoo with one of your conquests.'' I tell him frowning.

''_She was my_ _true love_.'' He suddenly cringes furiously at me by my comment.

''Okay ! Take it easy !'' I say surprisingly trying to calm him down. ''Show me.''

As I close and put the book on the table, Hook shows me the tattoo from his right wrist which its represents Milah's name in a heart crossed by a dagger.

''Do you want to see others evidences, lass ?'' He asks me again.

I don't know what to say. Is he really the Captain Hook ?

''I'll ask you some questions and you have to tell me the truth.'' I let him know. ''And if you hesitated or don't know something about you, you get out of my place.''

''As you wish, milady.''

I gestured him to sit down while I am preparing hot chocolate with cinnamon. Two minutes later, I am facing him, ready for questioning him about the life of Captain Jamie Hookbridge also know as Hook from _Once Upon A Time_. I'll ask some questions from part of his life I don't reveal yet to the readers.

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><p><strong>Review ? :)<strong>


	3. Just a book character

**Hi ! First, I'm sorry for the delay. I've had a busy week. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for following/fav/reviews. It's like having a Killian :) So in this chapter, you will discover Hook's past with some references with The Treasure Island or The Treasure Planet from Disney and a bit of Pirates of the Caribbean; and of course his past with his brother Liam. Well, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter - which is a bit longer. By the way, thank you to notice me some grammar mistakes I did in the previous chapters. I do my best for the next chapters ! :)**

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><p><em>'I'll ask you some questions and you have to tell me the truth.' I let him know. 'And if you hesitated or don't know something about you, you get out of my place.'<em>

_'As you wish, milady.'_

_I gestured him to sit down while I am preparing hot chocolate with cinnamon. Two minutes later, I am facing him ready for questionning him about the life of Captain Jamie Hookbridge also know as Hook from Once Upon A Time. I'll ask some questions from part of his life I don't reveal yet to the readers._

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><p>Before starting to ask him questions about him, I stare at him – to tell the truth, I fix my gaze on him from top to toe. Honestly, he is the spitting image of Captain Hook. Well, from my story.<p>

First he has the same dark dishevelled hair and the same intense blue eyes, deep like the abyss of the ocean. Second, I am under the impression he smells the sea and leather and rum. Actually, my character's smells. Next, my eyes gape at his necklace with a dagger and a skull, and then to the dusting of hair across his chest. And finally, I look at his right hand and especially his fingers which are decorated by his rings.

I am completely in a trance as I look at him.

''Swan ?'' a distant and smooth voice says.

''Yes ?'' I reply without react.

''I know you face to a gorgeous pirate but when will you start asking me questions ?'' He boasts with his lilting accent. ''And by the way, your hot drink is delicious, what's that ?''

''What ?''

But when I look up to him, I nearly laugh, because he has a bit of whipped cream in his nose.

Snapping back to reality, I finally shake my head.

''Sorry, I was thinking about my questions.'' I lie and then add. ''And It's hot chocolate with cinnamon. Anyway, let's go back to business – your name, date and place of birth.''

''Jamie Barry Hookbridge. I was born at October 21st, 1678 in Port Royal during the reign of King Hector in the realm of Misthaven, also know as the Enchanted Forest.''

''The name of your mother ?''

''Sarah Hookbridge''.

''Your father's job ?''

''He was a sailor alongside the Commodore James Norrington in the _Interceptor_. He served the King until he gave up on me and my big brother Liam when I was seven.''

''Your best friend ?''

''I don't have friends. I've had only my first mate William Smee and the crew of the _Jolly Roge_r. Otherwise, I get along great with Tinkerbell, an ex-fairy.''

My mouth is open. His responses are correct without a hint of hesitation. The most incredible thing is – during the questionning – he sometimes scratches behind his ear which is Hook's nervous tic ; and he does something obscene with his tongue when I was asking the last question. How that's possible !?

''Okay'' I shake my head. ''That seems correct, perfect actually.''

He raises his thick eyebrow with an enigmactic smile.

''Give me a sec'' I tell him when I stand up. ''I need to take something from my office. I'll be right back.''

''All right'' He says.

After taking my computer from my office, I reface to him. When I turn on the computer and tape the password, Hook tilts his head, frowning ; then asks me about the computer.

''What is this strange thing ?''

''It's called a computer ?'' I reply without precision.

''What's a computer ?''

I gape at him._ Really !?_

''Pirate'' He reminds me, rolling his eyes.

''Okay. So, a computer is a device.'' I try to explain hesitantly ''usually electronic ... ''

He frowns, seems completely lost.

''Roughly, it's like a journal diary. It's a thing wherein you can collect the stuff you love. You work also on it, for instance writing a book.''

He merely nods without another comment.

Then, after enter my password – by the way, nobody can't have access on my session – I open the file recapulating Hook's biography.

''Well –'' I restart the questionning. ''Can you talk to me about your first trip on a ship ?''

''I was fifteen when I did my first trip on a ship for a mission to find the Treasure Island.'' He begins to tell the tale with closing eyes and smiling as if he remembers a lovely and treasured memory. ''It was probably the best day of my life. I was excited. Anyway, this ship was commanded by Captain Smollett, with his first mate Mr. Arrow. During the journey, I was sent down to work in the galley, where he is supervised by John Silver. ''

I freeze and stare at him with wide eyes. Awe and fear are mixing in my heart. Trying to focuse on my objective, I ask him the next question.

''Who's John Silver ?''

''He was with no doubt a real father to me. The one I never had since my own _father_ left me.''

When he mentionned his father, his face turns into a mask of loathing.

''Plus'' He starts again ''instead of Jamie - he called me Jim. I loved that moniker when I was young. Well, he taught me all the necessary things for being a great sailor. ''

''But he was a pirate.'' I assert, running my hand through my hair.

''Aye. Him and his crew are infiltrated the vessel for finding the Treasure Island. When I discovered that, I was upset as if I felt betrayed. Then, Silver believed that I had the map ; he had a chance to kill me, but refused to do so because of his attachment to me. But later after the discovering of the treasure, he finally saved me when I was going to die. He gave up his most desire for me. At heart, he really liked me. I was the son he never had.''

''And then, when the mission is over ?''

''I became lieutenant of the _Jewel of the Realm_ besides my brother for my heroic actions. And Silver was gone, living his pirate's life.''

I'm starting to shaking. That's absurd ! He has the memories of my character – or is he some kind of actor ? In order to keep calm, I cross my arms and try to not panic. I finally ask him another questions.

''You were a lieutenant, but why are you becoming a pirate ?''

''Because I refused to serve a vicious King.'' He says coldly trying to hide his sadness and his anger.

''Why ?''

''He toke my brother from me.''

''What happen to your brother ?''

Suddenly, the look on his eyes burns as if I asked him the taboo question and now he is shooting me a dirty look.

''Please, don't ask me that question.''

''Answer me.'' I say coldly without pity.

''Swan, please.'' He grumbles dryly.

''Answer me or you get out of my –''

''We were on a mission for the King. We traveled to Neverland to procure a plant called Dreamshade. We met a boy, Peter Pan. He tells us about the poisounous effect of the plant. Since that meeting, I tried to persuade my brother to trust the boy, because you know, he lived in this land. When we found that plant, Liam want to prove that it is not deadly. I tried to stop him but he cut himself with a branch of Dreamshade. Then, he collapsed suddenly as if life left him.''

He is looking at me with anger as if I was the real responsible of his tragedy, then he goes on.

''I plead for help and Pan was coming. I asked him if there's a way to cure him and he told me to take some water from the island curative spring but it comes with a price. But I didn't listen to him. I was panicked and I was obsessed to keep Liam alive. After giving him the water, I was relieved. But when we left Neverland – he stops and he breathed out – he died. I watched my brother collapse and slowly die in my arms. _Twice_.''

I don't know what to say after his tale. I just stare at him, surprised and amazed. Suddenly I feel sympathetic towards him. My suspicion is gone. I try to say something to him but he avoids eye contact. I can understand him. I killed his brother, I killed the love of his live and I toke his hand. After a moment of silence, I turn off my computer and I look down, embarassed by this strange and unbelievable situation.

''Now, Swan'' Hook finally speaks unkindly, trying to frighten me ''Do have I your attention ?''

''I think so.'' I reply to him, swallowing.

I realize I face to the real Captain Hook. The man who was once a fatherless boy, an ambitious young salior, a courageous lieutenant turned to a fearsome and dangerous pirate with a broken heart and a terrifying weapon by way of his left hand.

''Impressed ?'' He arches his eyebrow with a devilish smirk.

''No'' I lie, shaking my head.

After a deafening silence, the hook on the right side of the table catches my eyes. And suddenly, an idea looms in my mind.

''I'll keep your hook away from you because I'm afraid it's not fashionable in my world.''

Before he could retort at my remark, I add.

''If you need my help, you put your fake hand.''

I take his hook away from him and I put in my sweat's pocket. I finally sigh with my eyes closed. All of this situation is a stupid and incredible dream and soon I'll wake up and go back to reality.

I heard Hook take something of his pocket, he opens it and drink it.

''You probably need rum, love.'' He offers his flask to me.

''You probably right.'' He passes me the flask of rum, I take it and drink it.

A warm and sugary taste burns my tongue and my oesophagus. I notice that Hook is grinning at me, certainly because I am wincing. After taking a sip of rum, someone rings at the door of my appartment. Hook and I both jump from our seats and turn our heads from the noise. A feminine voice shouts from the door.

**''EMMA, OPEN THE DOOR !''**

Tina, of course. Who else ?

''Who is she ?'' Hook asks me when I stand up reluctantly.

''It's my friend, Tina. You don't move.'' Then to Tina ''I'm coming.''

I am leaving Hook and reach to the entrance door. Then, I open the door and Tina following by Ruby in her policeman dress, come inside of my appartment, relieved by the fact that I'm not dead.

* * *

><p>''Emma, are you alright ?'' Ruby says worriedly when she sees me, standing in front of her.<p>

''Something is happening to you this night. I can feel it.'' Tina notes when she looks the inside of my appartment and then at me. ''You're okay, Emma ? You're pale ! It's look like you've seen a ghost.''

Her eyes are focused on the mess from the living room and then the broken window from the balcony.

''Oh my – Emma what's happen to your living room !?''

''Emma.'' Ruby calls me from the kitchen. ''Why there's a man in your kitchen ?''

Oh no. Not this. I have a bad feeling. I've forgot Hook for a few seconds.

''Er …'' I'm holding my breath, thiking to tell her a lie.

''A man ?'' Tina exclaims, frowning and moving to the kitchen, almost running.

I follow Tina to the kitchen, blushing and walking to the doorway of the kitchen until I saw my book character kissing the back of Ruby's hand and Tina's.

''Hello ladies'' Hook says cheerfully with his sinful and charming voice, flirting obviously. ''It's a great pleasure to meet some beautiful lasses.''

Completely in a trance and in awe, Tina and Ruby can't leave their eyes from him. Of course, because Hook knows how to seduce and flirt with a woman. If I remember well, Hook treats women with so much respect and devotion as if they are some goddess or treasure of an inestimable value. I turn my head away, crossing my arms with a sour expression. But why I react as if I was jealous ? Am I ? I have to rebuild my wall around my heart and hiding all my feelings. Remember Emma, Hook is nothing to you. He's just your book character. But this moment was – how to describe this – weird and chilling.

''Emma, you didn't tell us you have a boyfriend ?'' Tina teases me, grining.

''He's not my boyfriend ! He's just a crazy fan who pretend to be one of my book character !'' I say crossly, shaking my head and quite irritated with a serious look.

''What's a fan ?'' enquires Hook with a curious look to me. ''And by the way, I'm Captain Hook, Swan ! You know that !''

''Shut your mouth !'' I address at Hook with much aggressiveness without meaning to, but I'm not in the mood to chating with him. ''I don't want hear you, Captain Guyliner !''

He merely arches his eyebrow with a teasing smirk as if he actually enjoyed my comment. Holy shit, he annoys me ! Why I made him gorgeous ! What bothers me the most is the fact that his pretty face touches something inside me, straight to my soul I couldn't explain. For stoping this strange feeling inside me, I turn on my heels from him.

''Anyway, Emma.'' Ruby begins, following me. ''We need to talk.'' Then to Hook, kindly. ''Between girls, if you don't mind.''

''Not at all, love. I can waiting until one of you have decided to take me for a more enjoyable activity'' He says very gently and blinks at her with his most devastating smile.

Tina rolls her eyes and lead me to the living room, following by Ruby. To the living room, the three of us sit on the couch, Tina and Ruby are looking at each other until Tina encourage Ruby to start.

''We though about what happened yesterday after you've gone. Tina and I had a discussion about a way to helping you. For having faith in yourself.''

''My faith was gone the day Walsh left me.'' I retort, shaking my head trying to undertand her that I refuse their help. All I want, is to succumb to oblivion.

''Emma ! '' Tina cuts me rudely as if I used a profane language. ''Listen to Ruby !''

My mouth is completely shut, trying to stay calm. But I can't remind still while my bests friends are figuring out a way to helping me.

''So'' Ruby continues. ''We think that you need to go to a center which their goals is to help you from getting out from depression.''

''No way !''

''Emma, you're not going back to jail !'' Tina adds with a severe and sincere expression. ''You are going out from pain and sadness. And by the way, you need to finish your book.''

''I told you that it's over !''

From this comment, I stand up and reach to the unfinished book which is on the floor ; and then for proving to my friends that I have not the intention to finish the story that made me famous, I throw the book out of the broken window, motivated by anger. Ruby and Tina's mouth are open, suprised by my gesture. For my part, my hot temper provokes me a chilling down my spine, my whole body trembling. After this moment of tension, Tina finally stands up and heads for me, hugging me and trying to bring me back to the straight parth.

''Go to the center just for us !'' She pleads me, unable to hold back tears. ''We need you ! Please !''

Then, Ruby joins us, hugging me. We remain silent for a while until someone clears his throat from the doorway of the living room, impatient.

''Sorry to bother you lasses but I need to talk to Swan'' Hook says, looking to me.

''I'm sorry but Miss Swan is not free for an interview'' Tina replies to Hook, leading him to the way out. ''You should know she have health problems and she needs to be alone without any journalists or fans on her path''.

''But I need her help !''

''Ruby, take Emma to the car. We drive her to the center and then we drop off the pirate guy.''

''I prefer Captain, lass.''

But Tina doesn't listen to him. Tina and Ruby leads us to the car where it'll drive me to the center which I hope that I can prepare to killing myself with the hook, hiding on my jacket.

* * *

><p>The street where Emma lives is silent early this morning. And after a few minutes – since Emma leaves her house following by her friends and Captain Hook – a young boy is walking to the street, alone.<p>

As a volunteer from his orphanage, he distributes the newspaper to every buildings. When he finishes his task outside the building where Emma Swan lives, something catches his eyes on the ground. It is a book. The young boy is fond of books. That permits him to escape from this sad world called reality ; which he has no parents and no hope for being adopted by a lovely and kindly couple. He has already ten years and he scares to succumb to oblivion. However, he should hate his parents for giving up on him but since he has read _Once Upon A Time_, he's no longer mad with them. He finally understand why they did this. For his best change. And since, he still have hope ; that one day, he'll meet his parents.

When he picks the book and see the title, time stops around him. He's holding the new book of_ Once Upon A Time_. The one which has not been out yet in bookshops. After a moment of hesitation, he decides to keep it and read it in secret with his best friend Wendy - who is also a huge fan of_ Once Upon A Time. _

He finally goes to the orphanage which Mrs. Hooper is waiting for him, without knowing that he leaves the building where his idol lives ; or to be more precise, where his birth mother lives.

* * *

><p><strong>Review ? :)<strong>


	4. I came back to save you

**Hello ! How are you ? As for me, I'm fine. After seeing the mid-season finale of OUAT, I was so sad for the end of Frozen arc and I can't wait for the queens of darkness and more Captain Swan scenes. *.***

**Well. First, thank you for your reviews, plus fav/follow. Second, I confirm that Henry will appear in this fanfiction but not for now. Then, thank you for notify me for some mistake I did on the previous chapter. And for finish, I hope you'll love this chapter ! Emma and Hook will go to an adventure for finding their happy ending !**

* * *

><p><em>Tina and Ruby lead us to the car where it'll drive me to the center in which I hope that I can prepare to killing myself with the hook, hiding on my jacket.<em>

* * *

><p>So, we drive to the center where I'm going to stay for a while until I'll be cured from depression. Hook and I are sitting on the back of the car, side by side. And during the route, Hook seems more relaxed but a bit dismayed, staring at the urban landscape of Boston with wide eyes. As for me, I observe his face turning into various expressions. I'm not really surprised by his reactions because of his experience to Storybrooke and New-York – when he tried to kill the Crocodile aka Rumplestiltskin. On the other hand, Tina seems puzzled from the conductor seat because of Hook's face.<p>

''You're okay, buddy?'' She asks, her eyes on Hook from the rear-view mirror.

''This strange world will never stop to surprise me !'' He replies without looking to Tina. ''With these glass towers and these bizarre vessels. None the less, where are we ? In New York ?''

''Come on, pretty boy !'' Ruby laughs, her head turning to him. ''We are in Boston. Have you ever been in this place ?''

''Shut up Ruby. We're arrived.'' Tina cuts her and points her finger to the place where I'll be imprisoned. Again. But anyway, I'm gonna killing myself with the hook I'm hiding. And I hope the staff of the center and my friends will not notice that.

Tina parks the car outside the center ; then, we get out of the car except my book character, because Tina gestures him to stay inside. ''Stay here, I'll gonna drive to your home in a hour. I turn on to you the radio station. What kind of music do you like, pirate guy ?''

Staring at me, he seems disoriented as if Tina speaks in another language than English. Scratching behind his ear, he merely declares to Tina with a sad smile ''Alas, I'm afraid you can't drive me to my home, lass. And I'm Hook''

''Hook like in Emma's novel ?''

''Aye. By the way, what's a radio station ?''

Tina rolls her eyes as if she faces to a complete idiot. She finally replies without looking at him.

''Nevermind. Just wait here, _Captain Hook_.''

''Alright.''

Then he turns his head to me, looking at me deeply as if he tries to infiltrate into my eyes. My heart skips a beat as I'm looking at his eyes. Oh, God ! Why I made his eyes so magnificent. But I shake my head, remind me that he's just a fiction character and fiction world represents illusion and impossible dreams. In the end, Hook waves at me with his fake hand as I reach the entrance of the center ''See you soon, Swan.''

''Goodbye, Hook'' I whisper to myself without looking at him, and knowing I'll never see him again. At last, my illusion is gone fading from my memory. And right now, I'm gonna be prepared for oblivion.

* * *

><p>After be introduced to the reception of the center and patienting to the waiting room, the secretary – a woman with a severe face – leads us to Doctor Glass' office. Ruby and Tina accompany me, holding my hands to the office until Doctor Glass shakes our hands with a kind smile. Then he gestures us to sit down to the chairs face to his office.<p>

''It's a pleasure to welcome you in our center, Miss Swan.'' The director begins, looking at me. ''I'm Doctor Glass, the director of this center and our goals is helping people suffering from psychologic problems. So, Miss Swan. Can you talk to me about your concerns ?''

''I'm perfectly fine, Doctor.'' I reply to him bitterly, without pleasure to being in this room. ''There's nothing wrong about me.''

''Okay, Miss Swan. So, tell me why your friends drove you here ?''

''Because, they're too worried about me.''

''We drove Emma here'' Tina cuts me. I wish she holds her breath. ''Because first, she was broken because of this stupid jerk, Walsh. Second, she refuses to move on and finally she is in lack of inspiration for her book.''

''We are so anxious about her'' Ruby adds, nodding to Tina. ''When Walsh have broken up with her, she is on the brink of the abyss. She needs to have a treatment, Doctor.''

Doctor Glass takes some notes while Tina and Ruby tell the tale about my highway to hell. I tried to ignore them, it's embarrasing and annoying ! I want to go home with no one under my feet. The story of the dark part of my life takes around half an hour. After having read over his notes, he lifts his head to me and declares :

''So, Miss Swan. After knowing these details about the last six months of your life, you need to rest and take a treatment in our center. First, you'll stay here for a month and second, I'll give you a prescription for your medicines. Do you agree for our conditions, Miss Swan ?''

I nod with an neutral expression, without saying a word.

''Good. Miss Lucas and Miss Bellamy, you can leave. We take care of your friend. Don't worry, she made the best choice to put her health and her well-being in our hands. She'll be fine, I promise you. So, I call the secretary for you Miss Swan.''

''We are going to take your belongings, Emma.'' Ruby smiles me kindly. ''We'll be right back. See you soon.''

''Yeah, see you Ruby'' I wave at her, smiling a bit, but with no enthusiam.

''And don't kill yourself !'' Tina adds with a teasing and fierce voice.

''No kidding !'' I roll my eyes, holding back my lie as if I have not the intention to make my dearest wish.

''See you Emma.''

''See you.''

And my two friends leaves the office, not knowing it was the last time they see me alive.

A few seconds later after Tina and Ruby's departure, Doctor Glass' secretary comes to get me with a disdainful look.

''Will you follow me, Miss Swan. I lead you to your room''

I stand up and fall into steps behind her.

''Thank you Dolores'' Glass thanks his secretary with a malicious smile ''Have a nice day, Miss Swan.''

_See you in Hell._

* * *

><p>A while have passed since Tina and Ruby leave me in the center to the care of Doctor Glass and his minions. During the interview with him, I have the feeling that I don't like him already. As if he intends to watching me, not cure me. He reminds me the magic mirror of the Evil Queen with the look on his eyes that says <em>Big Brother is watching you<em>.

From now, I'm alone, sitting on the edge of the bed – which it's not cozy. And the bedroom smells hospitals, it's sucks. I don't fell uncomfortable when I am in this kind of place. But anyway, this place is perfect for my ultimate plan to kill myself. Not with a gun, or jumping from a high building or hanging myself but killing myself with the hook. So, I take out of my jacket the cool metal in my hands and contemplate it with so much adoration and fear.

Yet, I cannot believe that I'm holding a beautiful and frightening weapon in my hand. As the ordinary children, this hook had scared me when I was a little girl since I saw _Peter Pan_ and _Hook_ on the TV.

And everynight as a hopeless child, I had nightmares in which I saw the pirate with the hook kidnaping me and told me that my family will never find me, I will be always the child I've never desired by her parents.

But as I grown up, I cast doubt on Peter's true face ; and during the writing of my book _Once Upon A Time_, I analyse the two legendary characters. And I become aware of Peter Pan ; that first Peter hates adults. Second, he spend his time manipulating children like him and then, he was afraid of death and that he desire to stay young forever.

In the other hand, for Hook. I asked myself why he became a villain, why he despites this boy, why he was afraid of the 'tick-tock' song or yet the crocodile, why he is in Neverland while he could left this place, why Peter cut his left hand.

I always saw Captain Hook as a villain but he wasn't always been a villain in the past. Because evil isn't born, it's made. And the big question is, why Hook had succombed to the dark side ?

So, I take some liberties compared with J.M Barrie's novel and Disney's movie _Peter Pan_. Peter Pan becomes the villain who he gave up on his son Rumplestiltskin in exchange of eternal youth and powers. Captain Hook still remains a villain but I consider him as a antihero who he looks a little like Han Solo from _Star Wars_ and Captain Jack Sparrow from _Pirates of the Caribbean_.

Anyway, I'm back to Earth and continue to glare at the hook until I take off my jacket and pull the sleeves of my sweat up.

''Well'' I talk to the hook as if he was an old friend ''I'm going to die.''

And then without thinking about the consequences, I cut my left forearm with the sharp top of the hook.

* * *

><p>''Back off sir !'' A man – with no doubt one of Doctor Glass' minion – suddenly comes out with a shout behind the door of my bedroom.<p>

I jump, releasing the hook from my hand. The weapon falls on the floor with a few drops of my blood. My eyes lift to my injury and actually, I'm bleeding and it's hurts.

''Open the door, mate.'' A familiar voice says with a pressed and threatening voice. ''_Please_.''

''I say BACK OFF !''

''Alright, mate. I warned you.''

A kick on the door of my bedroom.

''CALL THE SECU–'' The first man yells until the other man knock him out.

Then I heard the sound of the keys penetrating in the keyhole of my bedroom ; and the door opens, revealing the grinning face of …

''Hook !''

''Here you are, lass !'' Hook replies with a smug smile. ''Miss me ?''

And then, when he sees my injury on my left forearm, his eyes becomes anxious. ''Oh bloody hell ! What have you done, Swan ?''

''It's none of your bussiness !'' I retort sharply, then I hide the injury with the sleeves of my sweat. He merely rolls his eyes as if he already know what I was doing two minutes ago.

''Luckily that I'm arrived in time to save the damsel in distress. It's very bad form to steal a man's hook, and plus trying to kill yourself !''

Crouching, he picks up his hook, clean it with the sleeves of his enormous leather jacket and puts his hook back to his left hand with a _click_ sound.

''You knew it ! You knew I was going to kill myself'' I gape at him with a surprised look.

''Of course I knew, Swan. Remember. Open book.''

_Dammit_. Of course I remember that detail ! What an idiot I am ! I created him. And he's supposed to be excellent at reading people like a open book.

''By the way what are you doing here, Hook ? You shouldn't be here !'' I ask him angrily, crossing my arms.

''I came back to same you.'' he reply with a serious tone.

I remain silent, unable to move, gaping at him and looking into his eyes, bluest and bewitching than ever. Finally, Hook breaks the silence. ''Swan, you need to leave this place and coming with me.''

I'm just about to cut him but he raises his fingertip to my lips ; and then continues.

''Look, Swan. I need your help. And you need my help. Because killing yourself will not bring back your happy ending. And if you kill yourself, I'll die.''

''Wait ! What do you mean ?''

''As you are my creator and as I'm your book character – in a way, we are connected. As you live in this world, I live. If you die, I'll have no creator anymore and I'll disappear forever. Now, we should run.''

As he finishes his explanation, he takes my hand vehemently in his right hand and we hurry out the bedroom, running. But I don't want to follow him.

''Leave me alone ! You don't have to take care of me.''

''I have to. I have no choice.'' He retorts without looking at and trying to find a exit.

''And where are we going, Hook ?!''

Now, we are outside the center, hiding from Doctor Glass' minions and then reaching to a bush.

''We're going looking for your happy ending !'' Hook murmured to me.

''Wait, Hook. My happy ending ?'' I question him, frowning my eyes.

''We are going to find your true love, Walsh.''

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><p><strong>Reviews ? :)<strong>


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